Fertility is a topic surrounded by hope, emotion, and plenty of myths. For many New Zealanders trying to conceive, advice from friends, whānau, and the internet can be overwhelming—and not always accurate. In this article, we look at some of the most common fertility myths and separate fact from fiction.

Myth 1: You can get pregnant at any time in your cycle

One of the most persistent misconceptions is that pregnancy can happen at any point in a woman’s menstrual cycle. In reality, there’s only a short window when conception is possible—around ovulation, which usually occurs about 14 days before the next period.

An egg can be fertilised for up to 24 hours after ovulation, while sperm can survive in the reproductive tract for up to five days. This means that sex in the days leading up to ovulation can also result in pregnancy. Understanding your cycle or using ovulation tests can help identify your most fertile days.

Myth 2: Age only matters for women

It’s true that female fertility declines significantly with age—especially after 35—but men’s age matters too. Sperm quality can decrease over time, and the risk of genetic changes in sperm increases with age. This can affect both the chances of conception and the health of the baby.

While men can often father children later in life, research shows that fertility outcomes are generally best when both partners are under 35. That doesn’t mean it’s impossible later on, but it may take longer and require more support.

Myth 3: Stress stops you from getting pregnant

Stress is often blamed when conception doesn’t happen quickly. While severe, long-term stress can affect hormone balance and ovulation, everyday stress alone is unlikely to prevent pregnancy.

That said, stress can influence sleep, energy levels, and relationships—all of which can indirectly make it harder to conceive. Finding ways to manage stress, such as through exercise, mindfulness, or talking with a counsellor, can support both emotional wellbeing and fertility.

Myth 4: Lying with your legs up after sex helps

A classic piece of advice says you should lie with your legs up after sex to increase your chances of getting pregnant. However, there’s no scientific evidence that this makes any difference. Sperm move quickly toward the uterus, and most reach their destination within minutes.

What matters most is timing sex during the fertile window, not what position you rest in afterwards. If you prefer to stay lying down for comfort, that’s fine—but it’s not necessary for conception.

Myth 5: A healthy lifestyle guarantees fertility

Eating well, staying active, and limiting alcohol are all beneficial for reproductive health—but they don’t guarantee fertility. Factors like age, genetics, and underlying medical conditions also play major roles.

For women, being significantly under- or overweight can disrupt hormone balance and ovulation. For both men and women, smoking and heavy drinking can reduce fertility. A healthy lifestyle improves your chances, but it can’t override biological limits.

Myth 6: If it doesn’t happen within a few months, something’s wrong

It’s completely normal for conception to take time. Even for healthy, fertile couples, the chance of pregnancy in any given cycle is around 20–25%. Most couples conceive within a year, but for some, it takes longer without any underlying problem.

Health professionals in New Zealand generally recommend seeking advice if you’ve been trying for a year without success—or after six months if the woman is over 35. A fertility assessment can help identify any issues and guide next steps.

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Myth 7: Fertility treatment always works

Fertility treatments such as IVF can be life-changing, but they’re not guaranteed to succeed. Success rates depend on factors like age, the cause of infertility, and the type of treatment. For women under 35, the chance of pregnancy after one IVF cycle is typically around 30–40%, but it declines with age.

It’s important to have realistic expectations and seek thorough medical guidance before starting treatment. Some couples need multiple cycles, and others combine treatment with lifestyle changes or complementary therapies—though evidence for the latter is mixed.

Navigating the myths

Fertility is a complex interplay of biology, lifestyle, and emotional wellbeing. Myths often arise because people want explanations and control in a process that can feel uncertain. The best approach is to rely on credible sources, talk openly with your GP or fertility specialist, and remember that every journey is unique.

Knowing the difference between myth and fact won’t guarantee a faster pregnancy—but it can bring clarity, confidence, and peace of mind along the way.